Maybe it’s because I’m hungover. Maybe it’s because Mum has diarrhoea and is emitting so many whimpers and groans and it’s putting me on edge… She’s also in a bad mood. I know she’s allowed to be but it doesn’t make things any easier for us.
I just want to go home.
The Hospice spoke to her the other day to try and find out what kind of ongoing care she’d like. Unsurprisingly, she wants to die at home. That means I’m full time care until that happens. Great. I don’t mind, I know it needs doing, but a tiny tiny part of me hoped that for some reason she’d want to go into a home and I could do the caring side and visit and spend time together but cooking meals and cleaning up and bathing and stuff would be taken out of my hands.
I’m just so tired.